Happy Birthday Allison

I havent allowed myself to think today. Ive been cleaning, re-organizing, and goinggoinggoing all day just to try and block out what Im scared to feel. 

To scared to think. 

To scared to accept.

I really dont think Ill ever get over it.

Allison, I love you so much, I cant remember a time that you werent there when I needed you. 

You have shoved me into admitting so many things, into talking about things I do not want to talk about in my treatment. 

I know its for me, but I do it for you. 

Id give anything for you to be here today. 

Im going back to Vegas and doing something special for your birthday.

This trip planning is all over the fucking place, but what isnt, right?

I miss you. So much. I always will. 

***I will post with updates and pictures soon. 

I feel like its getting harder and harder for me to post stuff, but I want to change that. I want to get back into it.

slaaaacking.

I really need to get back on track with updating this thing. My husbands been giving me shit because he checks it and tells me I am way behind.
I feel like Ive gotten on a new, good schedule since the school year started and Its hard for me to find time to actually write a decent update and edit pictures. Honestly I havent been taking as many pictures as I used to either, which does suck. I used to update Facebook with atleast 1 picture a day but I feel like I barely do anymore. Bullet points?

-We came in dead last at the stroller race haha. We walked the whole way and surprising Bodhi was the most troublesome. After the first mile he was done with the whole thing and we took turns carrying him the rest of the way. But we did win $25 for our costumes :)

101 Dalmatians. My mom was Cruella. 

-The hotel we started at for Hotel weekend was awesome! Unfortunately we didnt get there until after 9 PM. The boys went to bed right when we got there and I took Alikah swimming. Check out was noon the next day but we are definitely going back, maybe even for the next hotel weekend. (None this month, probably none next month. Holidays..too busy)

-Harper did horrible trick or treating. He wanted to eat every piece of candy the second he got it. So there was a lot of screaming. Alikah had fun though :)

Vegas was....Vegas. It was really fun and crazy and non-stop. I did not sleep. I couldnt. I was so exhausted when we got back and my first night home I was up all night. But, the first few nights after the first one I was just crashed. Im still sleeping better then I usually do, actually.
We saw Shania Twain and the Chippendales. The coolest places we went were Carnival Court and the rooftop at Rio. We had an amazing view of the strip and the fountains at Bellagio from our room. (We stayed at Ceasars Palace) I found out at Victorias Secret that I am not a 38C like Ive thought for years, Im a 34DD. I lost my little purse with some money and my ID so at the end I had to have them buy drinks for me. And actually my mom got a post card in the mail today saying THEY FOUND IT! In a cab. So I have to call tomorrow to work on getting that back :) I also sprained my ankle. But shit happens in Vegas. 

But obviously the best part of our trip was our amazing costumes...

 So, in more recent news..
Alikahs school pictures turned out so cute!

Bodhi stands up by himself all the time now. We think hell be walking by Christmas. My little baby!! :(
Harper is talking so much more lately. I can finally understand almost everything he says. He still has his own little language sometimes but hes doing great.
We got pictures taken over the weekend. Check out these sweet faces...

My psychiatrist today told me she wants me to try and drive to my next appointment or the one after. So, well see how that goes. Blah. Speaking of driving Im driving to my parents with the kids this Thursday...
My older sister Gina moved home from the Philippines right before the huge storm hit. I was so thankful that she was back here but she set up a fundraiser at the restaurant/bar my other sister works at to raise money to help out :)

Happy Spencer?? You already know all this anyway! Love you. 

school, vegas and hotel weekends

Hi guys. I have some time so I figured Id do a little update on life lately.

Alikah still loves school. I feel like its too easy for her, but so far Id say the two most important things shes learning is how to write and spell and healthy habits. Every time she eats now she goes, "Is this healthy for me?" Its cute.

She also has a "boyfriend" named Vincent. She says she has 2 boyfriends though, little player.

Harper is a total 2 year old. Whining and tantrums like crazy. Time-outs work really really well for him though. He goes in the bathroom for them and I tell him to come out when hes done (freaking out) and hell so scream for like 5 seconds then say, "Mama! Im done!" and come out.

He just started napping in his big boy bed!! He used to only sleep in it at night because hed constantly get up for naps but the last few days hes stayed and napped in it. Which means were one step closer to moving Bodhi from the pack n play to the real crib!

This week were going to my parents on Thursday because Im going shopping with my mom and sisters to get stuff for Vegas! Were going to Vegas at the end of the month for my sister Heather's 21st birthday (Her birthday is on Halloween) Were dressing up as the Spice Girls :) 

Spencer will have the kids and hes going to take them trick or treating by his parents house then probably stay there while Im gone. 

Hmmm...Oh yeah I see my new doctors 3 or more times a month.  I really really like them both. 

Oh yeah! Something new we are starting....we got a new front door put on last month and he widened the doorway too so he cut off part of our wall and was pounding, drilling, making a HUGE mess, etc. and the kids couldnt even nap and it was so loud and annoying so we went and stayed at a hotel. We ended up staying for 3 nights and decided to make it a monthly thing!

We are going to have "hotel weekends!"

Just find cheapish hotels that are pretty close to us and stay for the weekend. (The only requirement is a pool of course) Its a great way for all of us to spend time together, relax and have fun. The kids love it and its like a reward for Spencer and I. We never spend money when we dont have to but now this will be our little treat. 

Hotel weekend this month is this weekend :)