Tuesday, February 11, 2014

Happy Birthday Allison

I havent allowed myself to think today. Ive been cleaning, re-organizing, and goinggoinggoing all day just to try and block out what Im scared to feel. 
To scared to think. 
To scared to accept.
I really dont think Ill ever get over it.

Allison, I love you so much, I cant remember a time that you werent there when I needed you. 
You have shoved me into admitting so many things, into talking about things I do not want to talk about in my treatment. 
I know its for me, but I do it for you. 
Id give anything for you to be here today. 

Im going back to Vegas and doing something special for your birthday.
This trip planning is all over the fucking place, but what isnt, right?
I miss you. So much. I always will. 

***I will post with updates and pictures soon. 
I feel like its getting harder and harder for me to post stuff, but I want to change that. I want to get back into it.

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