Sunday, January 16, 2011

Hopeful

Marshall and his girlfriend broke up. In the couple months that they dated, I never stopped liking her and I felt bad for her. Anyway, they moved in together and now she is moving out. I dont know details since I talk to him as little as possible.
A couple days ago I started telling Spencer how the more I thought about this the more I didnt like it. Before his parents were always there for Alikah, and then Amanda was, but now its just him. Everyone Ive talked to about it is kind of wondering what the hell he plans on doing now.
So this morning I texted him asking him if I was dropping her off, and he answered back "Bring her to my parents" and nothing else. When we got there, he wasnt there, and it didnt seem like he had any intention of showing up. They said they were so excited that she was going to be staying there. She was excited too, she ran around hugging everyone and then to her toys to play. She keep peeking over at me and eventually even smiled and said "GoodBYE mommy!"
Everytime I drop of Alikah by him, she doesnt want to go. Everytime I pick her up, she looks like she could cry from being so happy to see me. Two weeks ago when I dropped her off, she cried and told me she didnt want to go. She looked at me like she was thinking "Why are you leaving me?" I cried the whole way home.
Today I drove away feeling relieved, happy that she actually wanted to be there.

I talk a lot about how I cant wait for the day that Marshall goes back to jail, or how maybe one day he'll will just stop fighting for her. Everyone knows he counts on other people to watch her for him, and that he is never going to change.
As bad as it is, I dont think anyone would disagree with me when I say that she is better off without him in her life. I am hoping so much that maybe he is starting to realize that too.

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